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The last posting described a population of males who consider themselves heterosexual, do not label themselves gay or bisexual, who eschew involvement with the LGBT community, who are often married or romantically involved with an opposite-sex partner, and who engage in sex with males or express the desire to do so.Research with this population is difficult due to the challenges of reaching these men – the majority of whom keep this activity covert.But what if the men in question identify as heterosexual? Quite possibly, this conflux of factors offers the best etiological elucidation of the SMSM demographic. I myself am a gay male who had sex with several women in college.I had only had gay sex with another male up until then.I think there can of course be other contributing factors as well.

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Can you imagine the feeling when some of these guys refer to me as "Hot" and tell me how much I turn them on!! I'm clearly overweight, balding, and NOT in good shape but yet I attract and have sex with college basketball players, rugby players, swimmers, good looking non athletes, and a variety of guys that also like me and they like me also shun anything feminine. I find that to be revolting and it's not my scene and all of the college guys I have sex with share my thoughts about only doing this with other masculine guys.

I have had another sexual relationship with a married man whose wife knew he slept with men and they had certain rules what he was allowed to do with another men; although I knew his name I never knew his surname, email address or mobile number.

Both initially lied about their relationships with their wifes - first they declared that they had gf and then they became their wives. I am a "straight" married man to a woman of many years and I find your observation to be incredibly correct.

Recall from the previous posting that straight men who have sex with other men (SMSM) do not generally share details about their same-sex sexual activity or desire with significant others in their lives.

Due in large part to the popularization of the topic in the bestselling 2005 book “On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men,”[i] Latino and African-American men are the primary subjects in research with non-gay identified MSM.

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